Written by Pam Rehm
I’m sitting here thinking about my children who are about to turn 40 and 42. It’s hard to believe how fast time has gone. Looking at them now all grown, with their own lives, I’m thankful. What once felt like endless days of diapers, school projects, and late nights has become a lifetime of shared history. The older I get, the more I see that children are not something we create or own. They are a gift.
A Gift from God
Scripture leaves no room for doubt. “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward” (Psalm 127:3, NKJV). Even though sometimes our children seem to be troubling, they are not a burden. They are not an inconvenience. As Psalm 127 says, children are a heritage and a reward.
God values every human life. As parents, one of our greatest responsibilities is to help our children learn about God’s way of life. As Psalm 139:13-16 says, from the moment of conception, that little life is His design, formed by His hand.
Psalm 139:13 For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. 14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. 15 My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.
Our little bundles of joy arrive with sleepless nights, scraped knees, teenage attitudes, and adult independence, but all of that is part of God’s gift.
I look at my two children and realize how much of God’s kindness has been poured into my life through them. Their presence has taught me more about patience, prayer, and dependence on God than almost anything else. I learned a lot about a lot of different things while raising them. I was also able to teach them about God’s way of life.
What to Do with the Gift
A gift is meant to be received with gratitude and handled with care. With children, that means intentional stewardship.
We are called to train them up in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6), to teach them diligently the words of God when we sit in the house, when we walk by the way, when we lie down, and when we rise up (Deuteronomy 6:6-7).
It means praying for them, fervently and specifically, long after they leave home. It means modeling a life of obedience, humility, and repentance so they can see what walking with God looks like. It means correcting with love, encouraging with truth, and releasing them into the hands of the One who gave them to us in the first place.
God didn’t give us children so that we could turn them into little versions of ourselves. They are given to us so we can teach them the importance of developing the mind and character of Jesus Christ. The time with our children being under our roof is gone in a flash. Our children belong to God first. He has loaned them to us for a brief time, and that is a responsibility for us to take seriously.
Jesus told a parable about a master who entrusted his servants with talents according to their ability (Matthew 25:14-30; Luke 19:12-27). The servants who used what was given to them and produced more were called “good and faithful.” The one who buried their talent and did nothing with it was called “wicked and lazy.”
Although Jesus’ parable of the talents was not specifically about raising children, it shows us the important principle of stewardship. God expects us to be faithful with what He has entrusted to our care. As parents, we have a responsibility to teach our children, guide them, and point them toward Him.
Irresponsibility and the Consequences of Neglecting the Gift
Gifts can be neglected and treated carelessly. And when that happens with children, the consequences reach far beyond one generation. When parents fail to teach, fail to correct, or fail to live the truth themselves, the children often pay the price. Scripture is clear: “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly” (Proverbs 13:24 NKJV). But correction must also be given with love and understanding. Ephesians 6:4 tells fathers not to provoke their children to wrath, but to bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. God wants us to correct our children, but He wants us to do it with patience, love, and godly example.
When children are not taught God’s way of life, they can grow up without the moral foundation and understanding they need. We see the consequences of this around us today. Children need guidance and loving boundaries. They need parents who will teach them the difference between right and wrong. As parents, our job is to help our children see why God’s way is best.
God takes our role as parents seriously. We will answer for the example we set, the teaching we give, and the way we love and correct our children. But we cannot make their decisions for them. As they grow into adulthood, they must choose for themselves whether they will follow God’s way or not.
A Quiet Gratitude
As I watch my adult children, I am more aware than ever that the gift was never really mine to keep. I am thankful for the gift that my children are. My job was to faithfully care for them and then give them back to Him.
If you still have children at home, take the gift seriously. Love them. Teach them. Pray for them. Discipline them in love. Point them continually to the God who gave them.
And if your children are grown, like mine, keep praying. Keep living the truth in front of them. Keep trusting the One who formed them before you ever held them.
Children are gifts from God. We should care for them diligently, teach them His way, and be thankful for having the opportunity and privilege of raising them.